to curl, or not to curl

Though the lunch crew entered the Winter Olympic season divided (those with intense opening-ceremony-party-planning spirit vs. those with better things to do), the last week has been devoted to the mysterious and elusively-scored game of curling. For those of you as unfamiliar with the sport as we, curling is the fast-paced and high-adrenaline sport, nay, art, of stone sliding. The timeless game was invented by Norwegian cave dwellers shortly following the division of Pangaea and has remained to this day in it's pure unadulterated form. Stones are to be slid down a lane of ice, propelled by the yelling of innuendous phrases. While stones have no finite destination, they do travel in the utmost cleanliness, as two players must sweep all debris from the stone's way. This prevents the rare stones from being scratched, gave cave-wives the opportunity to break in their new brooms, and ensured the safe retrieval of the stone since the sweeper would be present when the stone eventually stopped. Curling is the eldest child of stone throwing sports, closely followed by shot-put; the family favorite, bowling, with it's structured scoring system and snazzy pins, has always garnered the most attention, often leaving curling bitter and lonely....two character traits that are often exemplified by curling players.