happy bday! love, your favorite aardvark

It is a lovely act of kindness when your coworkers remember your birthday. When they hand you a deep-fried and glaze covered donut for breakfast and praise all that is you...for inside of 5 minutes YOU are the king of the cubicles!...the fact that your crown is courtesy of Burger King only makes it more awesome! With the obligatory donut ritual checked off the to-do list, your co-workers return to their desks. But 2pm Lunch Crewers know, the fun doesn't end there! Oh no....secret surprise lunches are planned, decoy traps are laid, decorations are forged by fluorescent light using only the finest clip art available! True, these efforts are made on behalf of your birthday just as much as they are out of self-serving aims to eat Chipotle and play paper football. But what happens when, rightly so, the 2pm hour becomes the highlight of your birthday? Leaving any other attempts by family, friends, or aardvarks to pale in comparison? This year...and by year we mean starting in May...the 2pm Lunch Crew will take a new approach...birthdays will never be the same...and your beloved family and friends, and even a freaking aardvark will receive an instant A+ for their efforts...because for 60minutes of your birthday, from 2pm to 3pm the celebration will revolve around all those things which you DESPISE. For the "global warming is a fraud" fanatic, a "go-green" party...for the tried and true Italian (and by Italian I mean still visits family in Italy)...pasta from Pizza Hut (the finest in Italian cuisine!)...more themes to follow. But take a cue from the 2pm Lunch Crew and do your family, friends, and < if you don't know any aardvarks insert your animal of choice here > a favor and celebrate your most hated things in life at lunch...it will make that store bought cake and bouquet of wilted flowers look a whole lot better when you get home!