the end is near...

So, for one minute lets ignore the fact that there has been no post, decent or otherwise, made on the LotA blog since April. Lets instead focus on what unmentioned and unreported events have occurred...and lets try to capture their essence while we still have the chance, because the world has been going crazy...spiraling towards the imminent apocalypse!

Sign #1: The ocean may, at this point, be more oil than water. Gulf coast restaurants, tourists attractions, and ways of life have been permanently jeopardized and literally halted...as if Louisiana needed more devastation. Things have escalated to the point that James Cameron has been called in for advice and the list of possible 'solutions' includes drilling more holes in the ocean floor.
Interpretation: The price of shrimp cocktail at Red Lobster will rise drastically. 

Sign #2: The Touchdown Jesus in a conservative Ohio town got struck by lightening and consequently burned down. The event has been heavily covered and ridiculed on Facebook and Twitter.
Interpretation: God meant the whole 'graven image' thing. He prefers abstract Twitter handles.

Sign #3: KFC has partnered with charity, donating $1 for every bucket sold to Susan G. Komen for the Cure. Further KFC commitment to health concerns manifested in the hormone-injected Double Down, their Atkins-friendly response to the growing obesity problem in America.
Interpretation: Mass-consumption of KFC is the only way to squelch a chicken proletariat uprising.